He’s gone

My man left this morning.  He should arrive in Iraq about the time we’re having breakfast tomorrow morning.

Sometimes I forget that as unemotional as he seems, he really does have a soft side.  Watching him tear up  this morning as we said goodbye reminded me that he really does feel things deeply.  It’s also nice to know that he’s sad and will miss us too!

After seeing his plane off, Dian and I went and had morning tea with a friend and did some shopping for doll’s house furniture.  The dolls house was brought in to the lounge room only yesterday, I’ll have to post more on that later when the camera batteries have charged!

And now he’s going again

Well, Eddie is now being deployed again.  This time however, he’ll be gone for six months.  I can’t say exactly where or when he’s going, however I will update you all when he’s left.

I can say that he’ll be gone for Christmas and Dian’s birthday in January.  Sigh.

And now he’s not being deployed…

There’s an old saying in the military that goes “Greatcoats on, greatcoats off” meaning that decisions change constantly.  And that’s what’s happened here.  With only four days to go, Eddie’s deployment has been cancelled.

However… watch this space!  There may be another deployment coming sometime in the future.  The good side is that we have a lot of things done now that needed to be done, and if/when he goes sometime later then we don’t have to worry about them!

The end of a dream

It’s strange, I’ve been mentally writing this post for a few weeks now and I always thought that I’d be in tears and upset while writing it. Now that I’m actually doing it, I feel almost numb. The last few weeks have been a grieving process, and for now it’s over.

We won’t be having any more children. For three years we’ve been trying. I’ve charted, taken my temperature, checked cervical position and fluid, did ‘it’ every cycle at the correct time and in the best position, taken tablets by the dozen, exercised, tried to relax, done acupuncure and Chinese herbs for over three months, abstained from alcohol and soft cheese, given up coffee temporarily, had surgery to make sure nothing was wrong, been poked, prodded, discussed, advised and for what? Nothing. In three years we have not conceived once.

I’ve been thinking for a few months that it was time to stop. I can’t keep on living my life in four week slots of time. I had planned to continue the acupuncture and herbs for another two cycles, however with Eddie deploying there’s no point. So this is it.

There isn’t going to be a baby. I’m never going to be pregnant again.

Recently, I didn’t go to church because I couldn’t face seeing pregnant women there. At work recently I left a morning tea, where a co-worker had brought in her newborn baby, and cried in the ladies because I knew that it was never going to be me.

There isn’t going to be a baby, I’ll never be pregnant again.

He’s deploying

Eddie is deploying for 3 1/2 months, leaving in 12 days, the 2nd Sept. Not a lot of notice, so he’s going to be VERY busy the next two weeks.

The good side of it: by the time he gets back - in time for Christmas - we’ll be out of debt except for the mortgage and the margin lending account. Yay!

The money doesn’t make up for not having him here, but at least it’s something!

We’re staying here!

Yay!!  We have finally heard that Eddie is being reposted within Canberra, so we will be staying here next year!  Hooray! I’m so relieved that we won’t have to pack up and move again next january.

Now I can go and plant the trees out into the half wine barrels instead of leaving them in pots in case we had to move them!

Happy Anniversary to us!

13 Aug 2005 to 13 Aug 2008 - three wonderful years.  They’ve gone so quickly, a lot has happened in that time, some good, some bad, and some downright awful.  He’s my best friend, my rock, my partner for life.  I can’t imagine life without him now!

Update on the last week

The boy who bullied Dian on the bus has been suspended from school. I found out that he is severely autistic, and he has no understanding or comprehension that he hurt Dian. The school has been having other problems with him for awhile now, and this incident was the final straw. He has been suspended indefinately. I really feel for his parents, having to deal with this.

I have work until Christmas! The area that I’m working with in Defence, who have been saying for four months that there is no way they can extend my contract, turned around yesterday and asked if I would like to stay until Christmas. Yes please! I’ll still be working 22.5 hours a week, but spread over four days. So I should be home by about 3.00pm each afternoon to get some time in to work on my coaching business! We’re all really happy about it.

Employment and a posting?

I got the news yesterday that the job I had applied for recently, that I really wanted, I didn’t get. I was ‘outstanding’ on my application and interview, couldn’t fault me at all and I should be applying for higher level positions. However…. the job went to someone who had done Executive Assistant work for the last 20 years! So we’re looking at the possibility of me not having work again when my contract finishes at the end of june.

To top yesterday off, I was waiting for Eddie after work, and his boss mentioned that Eddie’s career manager wants to post him again. His position is being upgraded to the next higher rank wef next january, and they want to post someone else in on promotion. Which means reposting Eddie. He’s known about it for a few weeks, but didn’t tell me because he knew I’d freak. Which I did. He was planning on telling me when it was decided one way or another, so I wouldn’t be worried and stressed in the meantime.

It was literally a year ago that Eddie rang to tell me we were posting back to Canberra.

I’ve just been speaking to Eddie about the posting stuff, and we’ve decided that if the army insists on posting us, then we’ll ask to stay in Canberra first, if they have to post us out then we want to go to either Brisbane or Queenscliff in Vic. Either way, we’ll have family there and people we know. My sister and BIL are moving to Brisbane around Nov this year, from London, and I have other rellies in northern NSW. The in-laws are all down in VIC.

If they can’t post us to any of those three locations then he’ll discharge. It’s literally worth about an extra $100,000+ for Eddie to do another three years, we don’t want to lose that by being too inflexible. All three of those locations have heaps of positions for his rank and trade.

Kids and bullying again

Where do I start? These last two weeks are kind of a blur! We’ve all had the flu, Eddie was first, then Dian, in fact she didn’t go to school at all last week, then I had/have it. Thankfully we’re all on the mend.

Dian’s been getting bullied at school, we think that is under control at the moment and things are looking up, and then she came home yesterday with this story. She goes to school on the bus, and recently has been sitting next to a 15yo (possibly mentally disabled or autistic) boy, J. I’m not sure how severe his impairment is. Anyway, she’s been telling us that he likes her, and he used to like another girl in her class. That’s bad enough, so I’ve been telling her to sit somewhere else. Yesterday, the only seat available on the bus home was next to Jack.

He told her that tomorrow he was going to bring a knife with him, told her she had to come to his party so he could flog her, and then proceeded to push her head down to her knees and sit on her five or six times! Apparently the kids sitting near told him to stop but he wouldn’t, and the bus driver didn’t notice.

I’ve reported it to Dian’s school, and the deputy principal rang J’s school. They are all horrified, as they should be, and we’ve been told that we can report it to the police if we choose to, as an assault. I’ve chosen not to at this point, but if he ever touches Dian again then it will definately be reported!